Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Q&A Week 3

Wow, these make me realize how fast time is flying! Another question this week from my sister in law, Katie.
Any good parenting tips on balancing life/ work/ marriage? Great question. And I'll fully admit that sometimes I am not the best at the whole balancing thing. To be fair, I am a full time stay at home mom (which everyone in that role knows is more than just full time) and I also spend about 40 hours a week on photography. I couldn't possibly do it all alone, and that's why I am thankful that we live close to both of our families. But there are a few things I have learned along the way that help me out.
1. You gotta let some things go.
My house is very rarely spotless. The boys sometimes go a little too long in between baths, and Grady is adept at spotting and naming local restaurants. Seriously. He's probably the only three year old I know that can ID the Red Lobster logo a mile away. I always pictured myself as having the house you could eat homemade meals off the floor in. My perfectly groomed children would always smell sweet and very rarely would they test limits or need time out. Yeah, right. That might {not} have happened if I hadn't added a full time job (which I love). But I adore my boys, and they know it. They don't mind if the dishes from this morning last night lunch yesterday are still in the sink. Toys on the living room floor are only that much more accessible. I don't have time anymore to worry about being the perfect parent.
We do what really need done and we let the rest go. We just have to. I occasionally feel guilty, but Grady usually takes care of that with an "I love you mommy!"
2. Say thanks. A lot.
This is another thing I don't do as well as I should, so I want to do it now. My fantastic husband has been nothing but supportive for the past three years. He never complains when he walks in and it looks like a bomb has gone off, the baby is sleeping too late in the afternoon, Grady is watching Thomas and I am in a computer induced coma trying to get a session proofed. He will just start putting away the piles of dishes and ask where we're going to dinner. I am really, really lucky to have him because I do know that not all husbands clean toilets and sweep floors without being asked. So thank you sweeties. I love you. And no ladies, you can't have him. He's mine.
3. Love each other more than anything else.
It's so simple really, but I think in the chaos of life so many people forget why they got married, or had kids, or even why they do what they do. It's about love. Passion. Something in your spouse or your job that used to make you get all goofy and mushy and nervous inside. That feeling you got when your little lump o' baby looked up at you for the first time and smiled and you were pretty sure it wasn't gas. When I feel like I can't handle wearing all my hats, I remember all those moments that brought me here and it really calms me down and puts things into perspective.
Well, I think that's probably enough sentimentality for the evening. Here's self portrait #3. My husband jokes that when I am working, I tone out literally everything else. So I tried to express that a bit in this one.

1 comment:

Lauren W said...

Well put, my friend. And for what it's worth, I don't see how you do what you do. I think everything you are doing is just fabulous.